The Cheese Haus is neither cheese, nor a house. Discuss

19 Nov

Today was a sublimely luxurious day spent at a spa with a couple of girlfriends. One of them is getting married two weeks from today, so we did the traditional girls’ day. We had massages and energized our souls. The soul energizing process, it turns out, involves an exfoliating scrub in a shower, a steam room, another shower, and then alternating hot and cold tubs. It is followed by lounging in an outdoor hot tub and pool for a while, feeling like the 1%. 

As you might have guessed, this day involved significant time in a bathing suit. I did OK on the self esteem front, but I was definitely glad it’s the off-season for outdoor spas in Wisconsin.

On the way home, we stopped a restaurant called the Cheese Haus, which is a vegetarian restaurant run by some 7th Day Adventists. It is a bizarre little place where they sell bibles and books about miracles while oldies play in the background. There’s also a soda fountain. I had a “chicken” salad. It was a salad with three pieces of tofu on it. I normally find it annoying when vegetarian restaurants pretend that tofu or tempeh or seitan is chicken or beef or anything other than what it is. I have occasionally had some fake meats that came pretty close to tasting like actual meat.

This was not one of those fake meats. Seriously, it was nothing like chicken. Not in flavor, not in texture. I don’t really care if you put tofu on a salad, but call it goddamn tofu. I was thinking about it later and I was reminded of that scene in The Matrix where he says something about how everything tastes like chicken because maybe they didn’t know what chicken tastes like. That’s when I realized that life-long vegetarians would never know how to make fake meat taste like meat. This led me to wondering who makes the fake meats?

Are the fake meat makers former omnivores who became vegetarians? In that case, they’d be working from a memory of glorious meat and each recipe would likely get further and further from convincing. Or do the tofurkey people consort with meat eaters? That seems like the best bet for getting something that is kind of meaty. Would the vegans still eat it if they knew? Do vegans eat that crap anyway? (Yes. My vegan friend does, and it’s gross.)

While I ended up at the mercy of two restaurants today, which led to extra vegetables, tofu, and some candied walnuts on my salad, I did OK. I also passed up the chances at free granola and fruit at the spa, as well as what promised to be an amaaaaazing homemade cupcake. It’s downstairs as I write this. I left a note telling my roommate he should eat it. I am the sort of person who can usually logic my way into anything sweet (it’s homemade. I’m sure I’ll eat carbs soon anyway, and better this than some little debbie snack. It’s so pretty! gotta keep your metabolism guessing, right? I already was imperfect today), so I’m relatively pleased with myself for passing on it.

The Thanksgiving turkey is thawing the in the fridge and the house smells like beef I cooked in the crock pot yesterday. It’s going to be a good week.

My current weight is 185 pounds.

It has been zero day(s) since I’ve eaten not-allowed carbs.

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Posted by on November 19, 2012 in weight loss


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